3 Word Swaps to Make Kids Better Humans
A short think piece on using language to foster a generation better than our own.
I’m not a mom yet, but I hope to be someday. Naturally, I spend a lot of time thinking about what kind of parent I want to be. Something that came to mind the other night was the idea of raising our kids to think about the world a certain way based on the words we allow in our vocabulary and our households. Allow may not be the right word for this, but I mean eliminating or limiting specific terms of speech we use in everyday life.
The way we think influences the way we act. So if we want to raise well-rounded and thoughtful individuals, we need to start with ourselves and how we speak about the world and others around us.
3 word swaps to re-frame the way we think, say, and act:
- Weird
The first word that came to mind for me is weird. Weird is a word we all use a lot. It’s the first thing that comes out of our mouth when describing something different. But why? What if we limited the use of this word around our kids and replaced it with “cool.” A peanut butter jelly sandwich with pickles or a lunchbox with a foreign cartoon character on it are examples of things kids could easily be made fun of or bullied for being “weird/different.” What if — because of how we raised our kids — they naturally respond to new and different things as “cool.” Now, I’m not saying to teach our kids to go along with what everyone else is doing. However, if their automatic response to the unknown is “cool,” I believe they will have a more open-minded approach to new experiences and ideas. If we train our kids to be open to life in their knee-jerk responses, we create a safe space to try things for themselves. This allows our kids the opportunity to form their own opinion without the fear of society’s judgment.
2. Stupid
Kids love this word.
*Losing a game* “THIS IS STUPID.”
*Doesn’t agree with something their friend says* “YOU’RE STUPID.”
We all know how hurtful this word can be. Some of us even know what it feels like actually to believe this about ourselves. Kids are little aliens ready to consume everything around them, which means parents need to be intentional about what they teach by example. As parents, if we continue to say harmful and demeaning words like stupid, our kids will be right there with us — stuck in a toxic cycle.
When our kids become adults it could start to look like:
*Makes a mistake at work* “I’M STUPID, I’M TAKING UP SPACE, I DON’T DESERVE _______.”
*In an abusive relationship* “[THEY’RE] RIGHT. I’M STUPID AND WORTHLESS. NO ONE ELSE WILL LOVE ME.”
We can try out these words instead (because losing in Mario Cart does cut deep sometimes): bummer, stinks, and unfortunate. We can practice these alternatively: positive affirmations, normalizing failures as necessary in growth, teaching self-worth, self-care, and self-love.
3. Hate
Kids don’t understand this word or its gravity. Truth it, I don’t always think adults do either. We need less hate globally, so I think it’s safe to say we can scratch this from our everyday vocabulary altogether. If kids grow up saying “I hate this, I hate that” so loosely, they are going to live and operate in a very hateful mind space as an adult. But we need to treat this word differently than the others. We don’t want to eliminate it and pretend it doesn’t exist — we can’t afford to do that. There is so much hate in our world today that has transcended generations, such as religious hate, racial hate, and LGBTQ hate. There are also new forms of hate, such as cyberbullying and keyboard warriors, that spread online. Most of all, we need to raise our kids to understand the true meaning of hatred and ensure they do not give it space to exist in their world — the future world they have a critical role in shaping.
Final Takeaway
If we have to unlearn the things taught to us by society as kids, as adults, then we are already behind in life. We all want better for our kids, but for this to happen, we need to be better for them. These are just three examples of words we need to retire from our vocabulary so our kids, and future generations, can too. Have any words to add to this list? Share them in the comments below.
Thanks for reading. I hope you got something out of this. Anything? A smile at least? Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter.
